Tuesday, December 04, 2007

It is horrible, this feeling of helpless nasty.
I watch distanced.
Once again, the doors have been sprung open.
Once again, the lock hangs useless.
There is nothing much left inside.
Don’t you know?
There was nothing much anyway, don’t you know?
The people, laughter and fistfights have long gone.
Just old photographs, scraps of paper with an awry doll or tree, some music notations.
Two chairs, dust covered, in case someday we need them. Now gone.
Old photographs, a visit to the zoo in kindergarten, Heidi, Churchill.
That LP record, gloated over, Karen or Olivia or some such.
The tanpura is overturned, broken.
Glassware still there, the domit ovenware-gone,but its users left a long time back.
Books, some brown paper covered, are scattered
Perhaps in poems and philosophy, there is nothing to steal.
The double lock leading to the kitchen is useless now.
They’ve broken the attic door, the fence spikes that it took three grown men to lift
Gone now.
Storeroom emptied out.
My grandmother’s brass vessels, or her grandmother’s, who knows
Awol.
It is horrible, this rage, and cussing the thieves to generations gone and hence.
A repaired door, but for how long?
Had I not chanced to visit, no one would have known.
Detachment, aloof is a coward’s fate.










10 comments:

soleil said...

fari?! :(

mago said...

HOw awful!

Quin said...

i love, love, love your words.

CRUSTYBEEF said...

I'm so sorry that you stumbled on that mess..so so sorry. :(
Always,
Crusty~

Proxima Blue said...

That's horrible Austy!
It is hard to feel safe after experiencing something like that. Nights after, waiting as if expecting someone to come kick your door in.

Was it your house, or a relatives?
At any rate, I am sorry for the violation of security it creates and the irreplacable things.
-P

austere said...

soleil- haan, farithi. ghar bandh chey etley badha nri samjhey. &**^%.
mago- yup. helpless.

quin- any more and I'll gently point you to an overflowin archive, the comments, priceless though they were, are all gone.

crusty- yup. awful homecoming. but I guess its gone and done now.

proxima- my house, back in my home town. I guess I needed this to reaslise its too huge and too isolated to live by myself in, even if I get a gun and two dogs ma baker style. Stoic right now.

Portia said...

Oh, Austere. I'm sorry.

mystic rose said...

That is terrible. how violating it is.

I feel awful just reading about it

austere said...

portia, mystic- well, that's life. the people have long gone, how long will their belongings remain?

AmitL said...

Hi,Austy-sad to read about this-this was in Baroda?I guess it's not safe to leave a house empty anywhere,then-coz I always feel that Baroda,nee,Gujarat's one of the safest places to live in.Frankly,that's one reason I prefer flats anytime- a better sense of security.