Monday, January 25, 2010

How completely vulnerable does friendship (or what goes for friendship) make one, jagged edges and fluffy side up, open to conjecture and examination.
Which is why when someone goes completely silent without any reason, I tremble and go for a toss.
To me, where I'm coming from, based on my history, it is a slight, a personal rejection.
I don't do rejections too well. I thrive on acceptance, assurance. Gimme my security blanket.
Crazy? You bet it is.
So it was marvelous to sit by your side, hear your story, the dribbles, fragments and pieces you chose to share.
While knowing all the time, very likely you'll clam up, pack and move once again, home as you know it.
It was worth the hour long walk looking for an auto, and worth that plea to the cabbie, and the late hour.
Life lesson for me-- take people as they are.
As is, where is.
I'll try. Irrespective of the jagged edges.

14 comments:

AmitL said...

So true..but then,a person going silent might be for that person;s personal reasons,right?Something they might want to keep to themselves..:)ah well, you'll get to the bottom of it,soon,I'm sure..Reminds me of a quote I read recently'We don't see people as they are,we see them as we are'.True?

Ricercar said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ricercar said...

i find these matters sometimes hard to call :-)

mago said...

Silence can - can - be deadly. The important is the not spoken. The unspoken that always swings between the persons, the not-touched, for whatever reasons.
After all I think it is better to speak out, to pronounce, Klarheit, silence in harmony.
I hope you will see your friend again, in time. And I do not see it as "crazy" if one wants to be assured, wants to do the right thing, accepted, loved, ... be not alone. Very few can.
Humans are.

austere said...

great quote, amit- so true. possible, but still sudden off switches without a reason are painful.

ricer- you do? never had it happen with you? I assure you its exceedingly fret-worthy.

mago- the older one gets, the rarer is finding someone on the same wavelength, of the same gender. so there are no emotional issues or social issues. and then this...but new thing for me to learn.

Ricercar said...

oh yes it is very fret worthy! i go nuts when it happens to me - which it does all the time. i just find it difficult to judge the truth of the situation, or interpret - because me being the social dunce i am, i often interpret it wrong - as i later find

Ricercar said...

i mean for example last year i was really hurt that a close friend here just stopped talking to me. so withdrew too. much later i discovered that she'd been feeling the same. and its a hard call to make, to judge who cast the first stone

austere said...

Ricer-- this is so difficult, particularly with people who are close. Why wouldn't someone grant normal civility, politeness to a friend, but freely bestow this upon a stranger?

Ricercar said...

no i was just saying that sometimes both people are ignoring or avoiding the other, both thinking that they are reacting rather than starting the chain

austere said...

hmm...
guess that's the way life is sometimes.

only now I realise there's SOO much going on in a person's life, isn't there?

Ricercar said...

yup!

Arunima said...

"take people as they are." difficult isn't it?

shiv said...

I would say this... people are more civil to strangers than friends, because they feel that they will be accepted by the friend for whatever they are, the strangers will not. The same thing, taking them on an as is, where is basis, but going beyond a little, respecting their space and sharing it as much as they allow...The difference here is, the strangers don't even get a peek into that person. so, feel honoured if at all you were considered a friend....

PQ said...

I'd feel the same...its not fair that one behaves that way...but i'd normally be very persistent in knowing the reason why the silence...did u find out? Try atleast a couple of times...varna jaane do...sometimes Time is the best healer na