Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Teak. Beautiful wood. lines, swirls, patterns I don't know the names of, deeply ingrained in the wood, weathered and aged over the years
Once the color was stripped off, the layers of grime and dust and grubby fingerprints and whatnot of the decades scraped off, the magic of the wood beneath—just wondrous , breathtaking. To watch sunlight seep into the wood-- what a treasure.


So grateful for the near misses, the regrets one has been handed on a silver platter with a flourish, the ugly thanks-but-no-thanks. Yes, of course I wasn’t grateful then, cried and flailed my arms about and stomped my feet and roared—figuratively speaking, but of course, and some literally speaking too, if I must be honest.
But in retrospect—what a gift. What a brilliant gift. For a hurting, ugly state I would have been in, if not for this gratis bonus—broken and despairing…or adjusting, giving up little bits of myself being nice till it hurt and till the cows came home.

Who said I was nice?

Reading this later, I saw that in the words above, gratitude was missing, overtaken by the hurt but-- the overwhelming residual is gratitude, for life events, for roles played no matter how finite, for the lessons learned, insights into self, and yes,soul connect that one had only read about. Perhaps it is like teak,this scraping and stripping,bootcamp, raw treatment before what is essentially you, your self is revealed.


norrbu said...

reminds me of a quote from Dalai Lama: Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

Don't know how true this is. And he does use the word "sometimes". So it's luck in the end.

austere said...

I had thought of putting this on my pvt blog, but thought of you and put it here.

I think he was being modest when he said, "sometimes".

norrbu said...

so good of you di - thank you.

Arunima said...

our experiences make us who we are.

norrbu said...

so you agree di, that its only sometimes that not getting what you want is a stroke of luck.