Friday, October 23, 2009


Why should I care what you think? Or not? Why do these lines from Shatranj ke mohrey ring true even after all these years- who decides that a pawn on the chessboard must move exactly x steps left or that a horse cannot? What if the pawn says – here- I’ll do as I please and you may lump it? No-- I don’t know either, I'm indulging in rudeness when I please and I’m getting there.

Tremendously bland days, working at work and squeezing in the time reworking text one has reworked a hundred times before. Losing patience with oneself. Ugly.Yes, in your own mind, you know when something is completely off, where its not working. Unbiased input from a fearless, clear-sighted soul only helps confirm what you already know but wish you did not. Grit teeth and back to the storyboard.

Even so, the day holds surprises, the dawn sky an English peach buffered by blue with high clouds this morning; and last night that candle-lit procession- statue, crystal clear hymn and all. Captivating – maybe because it was unexpected. How the mind craves that.

6 comments:

norrbu said...

But when you're work is out, we will all celebrate it. I certainly will - and I've got this hunch that it'll be on a clear, starlit night perfect for a glass of wine. I'm willing to wait.

My Unfinished Life said...

work plae can sometimes be very toxic to the soul!!..
i have had such days...

AmitL said...

A Magnum Opus always takes time.:)

PQ said...

I think its ok for the horse to run the way it wants to at times - don't always follow the convention like the rules on the board. If its not so wrong, do what makes you happy - because it often is worth it.

And yes sometimes I am reworking on the same program and what helped me was a good night's sleep. Not sure if it fits in context here - but try it :-)

austere said...

pq- it needs to be put away for a few weeks, looked at anew. but thanks.

amit- by no stretch of imagination can a 2000 word story be a magnum opus. but thanks. :)

shootin': wasn't work. but thanks. :)

norrbu- TY. Have I told you how thrilled I am at your -ahem- news?

Anonymous said...

Some texts do not want to be written. Some figures do not want to follow rules and jump over the board according to the rules. It can be tempting to let them go, grow, develop. It's a risk, but can be tempting. And it may need another form.